


Ruined

by CaptainStormChaser



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blood, Demon!Dave, Demon!dirk, Demons, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Hunter!John, Hunters, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Violence, demon transformation, demons and hunters, hunter!Jade, hunter!Jane, hunter!jake - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-13
Updated: 2015-07-10
Packaged: 2018-03-17 15:26:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3534548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainStormChaser/pseuds/CaptainStormChaser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Egbert had a typical life; a sister, two cousins, and a family hand in demon hunting. But how will he continue after a hunt goes wrong and his entire world is ripped apart? And what about that blond wearing aviators hellbent on destroying everything John knows?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Most Curious Hunt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Jake enjoy a guy's night out. But things don't go exactly as planned.

John gripped the sledgehammer in his hands tightly, comforted by its familiar weight. The warehouse was deserted to those who didn't know what to look for, but all too full for John's liking. He glanced side to side nervously, eyes darting at every flicker of movement from car headlights coming through the dusky windows of the neglected office and casting ominous shadows on the upturned furniture and barren shelves.

Something cracked under his feet, and sick, chilling laughter split the air. John spun around to find the owner, but behind him was twenty feet of open space that made up the hallway he had just come down.

He shouldn't have chased the monster and let himself get separated from Jake. His cousin was probably still in the loading dock, finishing up the demon there with him.

John let out a shallow breath, calming himself, telling himself that this hunt would be successful like every other one before it. He turned around again, being met with an upside-down and all too familiar smirk. Luminous red eyes bore into his, as if devouring him from the inside out.

"Hello, John." The demon known as Dave Strider said, calm as could be.

John let out a war cry, swiping at the dangling head in front of him. Naturally, Strider dodged the blow easily, hoisting himself up into the rafters.

"Testy, aren't we?" Strider asked, crouching low as though he meant to pounce.

"Stay back!" John snarled.

Dave laughed. He straightened out his legs and jumped down nimbly. "What if I don't?" He inquired, one eyebrow raised. "What'll you do then?"

"I'll kill you!" The hunter replied, jaw set.

Dave moved faster than John could react, shoving him backwards.

John collided with a mirror on the wall, glass shattering and shards slicing into his skin. In an instant, Strider was in front of him, hand fisted in John's hair and forcing him to look up at him.

"I'd like to see you try, human." A flick of his wrist caused John's head to collide harder with the mirror and white-washed cement brick behind it, vision fading to red.

John's eyes snapped open, his entire body throbbing with pain. Jake was knelt over him, concern marring his face. Relief broke across his tanned face when John met his gaze.

"Jesus, you gave me a scare." Jake sighed. "How's your head?"

John touched his aching temple, hand coming back wet with blood.

"I've had worse."

Jake helped him up, and John looked back at the broken mirror. There was a halo of fractures surrounding where his head had hit, rusty dry blood splattered on it.

"Where are-?" John started to ask, pounding headache sweeping through his brain.

"Gone." Jake said. "I got the older one good in the arm, and they cleared out."

John let out a shuddered breath, and Jake shot him a sympathetic look.

"Come on, let me help you to the car. You might have a concussion."

When they arrived home, the front room light was shining through the window. John checked the dashboard clock, cringing when it read 11:17. Jane was going to kill them.

Sure enough, Jake's older sister was sitting on the couch in her pajamas and giving a new meaning to the phrase "if looks could kill". When she caught sight of John, however, she stood up.

"Kitchen." She said, and the boys followed.

John sat at the kitchen table and watched Jane gather first-aid supplies while muttering darkly under her breath.

"Sit." She growled at Jake, who saw no reason why he should refuse such a command. "Turn around." John obeyed.

Jane started with tweezers, plucking out shards of glass that made John wince.

"'Guy's night.'" She quoted as she worked. "'Just a movie and the arcade. We'll grab dinner and be home by nine. Don't wait up.' It's a school night! You two are lucky you weren't killed!"

The sharp burn of antiseptic further woke John up.

"It wasn't something we planned!" Jake defended, getting shushed by Jane to remind him that Jade was upstairs sleeping. "Okay," he whispered, "so maybe we did, but it wasn't anything big!"

"Obviously."

"I heard that the Striders were goin-"

"Jacob!" Jane said sharply, and Jake realized his slip-up. "You went after the Striders alone without telling anyone where you were going?"

"I wasn't alone. I took John. He's more than capable of handling himself."

John really wished Jake would stop talking. Jane was notably less gentle with the suture than she could have been, and the back of the neck was generally a delicate place.

"Shirt off." She ordered, and began cleaning the smaller cuts on John's back. "I'm aware that John knows how to hunt, but that doesn't mean you take him on high risk missions as male bonding time."

"Jane, I-" John started.

"No. I don't want to hear it. Take some pain killers and then both of you are going to bed. You're both grounded."

"You can't ground me, I'm twenty-three!" Jake protested.

"I don't care. Give me your car keys."

Jake grumbled something incoherently, but handed them over.

* * *

John wasn't sure what he had been dreaming about, only that he was covered in a thin sheen of sweat when Jade knocked on his door the next morning to let him know that should hurry if he was taking the first shower.

He still had a headache from the night before, all his muscles protested as he rolled out of bed. He blindly grabbed clothes and shambled to the bathroom. The hot water of the shower was soothing, working tension out of his muscles. His shampoo was... less than pleasant. It burned a bit on all the half-closed cuts. He began to wash it out, gasping in pain when it slithered down his neck. It shot fire straight into his veins, and he struggled to wash it all away before turning off the water and getting out.

He grabbed a hand mirror off the bathroom counter, reflecting a reflection of the back of his head. Angry red scratches stood out among the other marks, unstitched. He prodded them, feeling a shot of agony once again.

Jade banged on the door. "Come on, John!" She called.

"Just a minute!" He yelled, looking closer at the wound. It was near the center of the damage. With his finger, John followed the path of it. A crescent shape, mirrored on the other side. His breath caught in his throat.

"John!" Jade said again, pounding on the door with her fist.

He wrapped his towel around his waist, exploding out the bathroom and sprinting back to his room, leaving his sister dazed behind him.

He tried to soothe himself, trick himself into thinking that it wasn't really happening, but it was undeniable.

His teeth were different than they had been the night before, canines sharper. His nails, yesterday trim and short, were lengthened. He looked back in the mirror in the corner of his room, and even his eyes had already taken on another, more vivid shade of blue.

He was turning into a demon.

His breath quickened and he dressed as fast as he could. There was a polite knock at his door.

"There's breakfast downstairs." Jane told him. "We're leaving in 20 minutes."

"Okay." John replied, trying his best to keep his voice calm.

He waited until Jane's footsteps faded away, and looked frantically around his room, as though the movie posters that covered nearly every surface of wall would have his answers.

His family couldn't find out about this. But John was a demon now. He had to die before he started killing. An idea popped into his head.

He might not be welcome here, but there was somewhere else he might be. Somewhere he could redeem himself as one final act before he would be... put down. He would kill the Striders. And the Lalondes, of course. The demon families were nearly inseparable, and equally as deadly. John would kill them. He rationalized it all in mere seconds, fueled by adrenaline.

He snatched his backpack up, dumping his school stuff on his bed, shoving in things he would need, dug out from the space beneath his floorboards. A few knives, a hunting first-aid kit for minor injuries, a book on demonology that had served as a guide his whole life, and a picture of his dad. The last one was more for his humanity's sake than anything else.

John cast a final sad look at his bedroom before opening the window and climbing down. He dropped the last few feet, glancing at his house before walking to the sidewalk. He needed to get out of the suburbs. But he couldn't run yet. That would attract too much attention that he didn't want. He walked, checking his phone every so often. As 8 o'clock neared, he decided it was late enough for him to be mistaken for some high school student actually on their way to school.

So John sprinted. He sprinted to find an enemy. John sprinted in search of Dave Strider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to my fic. If you read this far, I would like to thank you. I cannot promise under any circumstances 'frequent' updates, but I'll do my best. Please review and tell me what you think.


	2. A Most Distasteful Test

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John continues on his mission to find the Striders, his limits as a new demon being tested.

It didn't take John long to reach the warehouse, though if he stopped and thought on it, it probably should have. He cursed himself for leaving his hammer in the trunk of Jake's car. He wasn't sure the knives he brought were going to cut it if he ran into any trouble.

It was just as he remembered it, having been inside only nine hours prior, though a spicy-sweet scent now hung in the air. John wasn't really sure why he was here. He had wanted to find Strider, but had no clue where the demon might be. This was his best (as well as only) lead. It was a simple matter to find the office where he had been bitten, broken glass scattered dangerously across the floor.

He scavenged through the entirety of the room, searching for a note, an indicator, something to lead him to the Striders.

He had to think! What would he have done?

Strider was careful. Cunning. He would ensure that John would be the only one to find his message. Unless...

John's eyes widened. That was it. There was no message. This was a test of his abilities. A ruse, wrapped in a puzzle, wrapped in a taco. It was designed to measure his willingness to give into the dark instinct that John could practically _feel_ burning and curling in his rib cage. To break him.

He didn't want to, but he had to. So John said a quick prayer to whatever deity might be listening, and surrendered to the demon.

It was... intense, to say the least. A hum of electricity slid through his blood, synapses firing. Despite this, only a few solid feelings were coherent. It was hungry. It wanted to hunt, to kill and feel blood drip down its chin and fingers and the warmth, _oh, the WARMTH!_

 _Focus!_ John commanded himself, searching the room for anything the Striders might have left. His nose twitched, truly noticing the smell in the air for the first time. It was strongest here, but there was a trail.

It was without thought that John started walking, then running. He exploded out the already missing window of the office, back into the unwelcoming sunlight and onto the pavement.

The first deviation from the underpopulated road was a half mile away, and John was breathing heavily. He was unsure, but the demon's instincts were certain of their path. He became wary, though, as he was led further into the city, closer to food. _People!_ he corrected.

He nearly ran directly into a woman at a street corner, who shot him a disdainful look. John growled at her before continuing, but heard her gasp behind him. He pulled his hood up over his head, which he kept down.

So this was Strider's game. Lead him to humans, make him snap. Strip him of his humanity and probably watch as John tore innocent people limb from limb.

John bit the inside of his cheek, tasting blood, and walked with more determination and less speed. He wouldn't become a murderer. He could take it.

Heavy thoughts descended on his mind, and somehow his feet followed the scent of Strider. It was more difficult, however. Now it mingled with others, weakened and diluted by car exhaust.

Something shifted on the top of a building out of the corner of John's eye. He looked up at it quickly, but it was gone. Of course they would be watching him.

It was an alley that he was finally led to, lined on two sides by the rough exteriors of the apartment buildings it was between and on a third by a chain link fence. John stopped at the fence, and checked the scent trail. Then again.

But it ended there. Strider should be on that very spot.

"Glad you could make it." A familiar voice said, direction made indistinct by its ricocheting off the walls and ground.

"Get out here, Strider." John snarled. "Stop hiding, you coward!"

From where, John wasn't sure, but Strider jumped at him. John was pinned to the fence by both wrists held above his head and Dave's hand at his throat. The demon had the audacity to smirk. Aviator sunglasses that hadn't been there last night concealed his eyes.

John swallowed thickly, and Strider let go of his throat. His blond head jerked in the direction of one of the apartment buildings beside them, and he jumped.

Not a normal jump, but the leap of a spider in those panic-fueled seconds where it feels death nearing. This one took Dave fifteen feet up the wall, grasping for hand- and footholds. It was on the top floor that he glanced down at John, still prone against the fence. "Coming, Egbert?" He prompted, clambering into an open window.

John let out a frustrated sigh, following Strider's lead as best he could in the difficult action of scaling a vertical 150-foot wall without eating breakfast. Sweat beaded on his forehead, cool drops of it sliding down his back under his clothes. His limbs were shaking by the time he reached the window ledge, and he reluctantly took the hand offered to him.

John spilled out on the floor, panting. "Do you seriously do that every time you leave your house?" He asked.

A single bark of laughter came from Strider's direction. "Hell no. I take the elevator."

John groaned. He pushed himself onto his knees, looking around the room. There was a bed in the corner, a set of turntables, various jars of what appeared to be preserved dead things, and a computer desk littered with empty apple juice bottles. "Where are we?"

"My room." Strider replied.

John stood up, letting his backpack and hoodie fall to the floor. "So, what?"

Strider slid his aviators off his face, revealing the crimson eyes behind them. "What?"

"You've got me here, now what? Am I your prisoner or something?"

Strider smirked. John was really starting to hate that.

"I think you really qualify as more of a guest at this point." He snatched John's bag up from the floor, rolling onto his bed and started digging through the contents.

"So I can leave?" John lowered himself into the desk chair, flicking over an empty bottle.

"You're a guest that can't leave without permission and will be closely monitored." Strider clarified. "Prisoner, sure, if you want to put labels on it."

John stood up, turning the bedroom's doorknob.

"I wouldn't. They might not be happy to see you." Strider suggested offhandedly.

John paused. "Who's 'they'?"

"My brothers, Egbert. The world doesn't revolve around you, you know." Strider replied, as though it were obvious.

John closed the door. "Why won't they be? Wasn't the mission to turn and capture me a success?"

John jumped back as one of his knives buried itself into the wooden trim of the doorway. He looked at Strider, who had cast John's backpack aside and was staring at him seriously.

"Whatever you may think, this wasn't planned. They weren't exactly happy when they found out I was getting a pet."

John grit his teeth. He yanked the knife out of the door frame, holding it threateningly toward Strider. "I'm not your pet, you bastard. I could kill you right now." He hissed.

Strider smiled. He stood, spreading his arms wide. "Do it, then. Kill me, and my brothers will kill you and trace your scent back to your sweet little hunter family and kill them." He scoffed. "You really think you can finish me off and get the hell out of Dodge before you get ripped apart? Do it."

John pondered this, never dropping his eyes from Striders. The demon was right. John lowered the knife, letting it fall to the floor.

"Good boy, John." Strider purred, watching how the hunter's body shook with rage. "You'll learn fast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this was kind of a filler chapter. Next one will be better, I promise. Please review and tell me what you think.


	3. A Most Frustrating Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which John meets the remaining members of the Strider clan and gets a taste of what living with them will have in store for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, but here's an extra long chapter to make up for it!

\-- gardenGnostic  [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 8:23 --

GG: hey, did you end up getting a ride to school?  
GG: john?  
GG: okay, just pester me later.

\-- gardenGnostic  [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 8:36 --

* * *

John left the room when Dave did, imagining that he didn't have much of a choice. There was a young man sitting at the kitchen table, wrapping his upper arm in gauze. Bloodied bandages sat in a pile in front of him and a sheathed katana leaning against his thigh. Just looking at him, John would guess he was an anime character rather than a person, er, demon. His blond hair was spiked in what looked like unsafe points, and the sunglasses he wore were triangular.

Many hunters (or at least, most that John knew,) had a single target that they pursued above all else. A nemesis. Dirk Strider was Jake's. John had only seen the demon briefly a handful of times, but was able to recognize immediately the pale skin and body that seemed to be entirely of angles. The signature finger-less leather gloves helped with identification as well.

He looked up at Dave, but his expressionless face seemed to harden when he saw John.

"Dirk." Dave said in greeting, making his way to the fridge. The elder Strider nodded, then continued tending his wound.

"What happened?" John asked, pointing at the gauze pile.

Dirk turned to him, maliciously grinning briefly. "Your dear cousin."

Oh. "Oh. Yeah, Jake said he..."

Dirk nodded. "He mentioned shooting me." He continued wrapping the gauze, securing and cutting it. "I'd get the little spawn out of sight." Dirk commented to Dave, who was looking around piles of swords(?) for something. "Bro'll be back soon."

Dave closed the fridge, two fresh bottles of apple juice in his hands. He tossed one to John, who caught it with a quiet 'thanks'. "He's going to need to feed." Dave replied before taking a drink, swallowing almost half of the juice.

"Sounds like your problem." Dirk said, putting away the medical supplies in a drawer. "Did you talk to Rose yet?"

"Yeah. She said it's fine. They're gonna meet us there in a couple of days."

Dirk took a large breath in and out. "He's not going to like this."

Dave shrugged. "It was almost time to move anyways."

John, who had stayed silent and out of the way for this exchange, was interested now. If the Striders were going to be on the move, his family might want to know. He subconsciously grabbed for his phone in his pocket, realizing that it wasn't there.

"Looking for this?" Dave asked, holding it out in front of him. "Can't have you telling your family where you are, now can we?"

The front door of the apartment began to rattle, and all of them froze. It was opened by a demon bearing a resemblance to Dirk, but he was undeniable different. He was older, with wide shoulders and a carefully manicured growth of chin hair. His glasses matched Dirk's. John was willing to bet his hair did as well, but it was hard to tell under the gray ball cap he wore.

The patriarch of the Strider clan, known only as Bro. Some said he was older than time itself. Others were able to trace him back only as far as the Alamo. Either way, he was dangerous. John had grown up hearing stories about him. Brawls between him and Grandpa English, the trap set by Nanna and Poppop that ultimately failed.

Bro stared straight at John, making him feel transparent. Vulnerable.

A shiver of fear ran up John's spine, and the demon noticed.

But he didn't say anything. He turned instead to Dave. "What did Rose say?"

Dave shrugged. "It's fine."

The man's face tightened. "Pack your shit. We're leaving in an hour."

* * *

\-- gardenGnostic  [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:25 --

GG: tavros told me you weren't in gym. are you skipping?  
GG: if you are, jane's going to kill you!!

\-- gardenGnostic  [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:27 --

* * *

John woke up from a sharp pain racing through his face, jerking his head around in search of the source.

Dirk and Dave stood above him. "Told you it'd work." The former told the latter before walking away.

John rubbed at the sore back of his head, assuming that he had been knocked out just after they left the apartment complex. Dave offered him a hand and helped him to his feet. John noted he was wearing his shades again.

"Sorry about that." The demon said. "We can't have you knowing where we are." John said nothing, and Dave took that as an indicator to continue. "You need to help move stuff into the house. I'll show you where to put it."

John looked at his surroundings, a little alarmed at what he saw. They were in the middle of a forest, a little ways off from a thick creek that fell away into a magnificent waterfall. A sprawling condo seemed to be directly on top of it in an architectual wonder that left him breathless, and the car stood a bit away on a gravel driveway.

John ended up being charged with only the care of his own backpack (which was suspiciously lighter than it was when he left home that morning), and Dave's third bag.

Dirk and Bro ignored them, finding their own rooms and carrying their own baggage. Dave led John up the stairs of the pristine white carpeted house and down a hallway with enormous paintings of wizards. Dave's room was evidently the third one on the left, red rug spread out over the entirety of the white floor. A messy queen sized bed was shoved into the corner of the rather large room, curios akin to what was in Dave's apartment bedroom on shelves and a dresser.

"Just put them on the bed." Dave said, doing the same and beginning to unpack.

"Where am I sleeping?" John asked, almost hesitantly, as he set the bags down and felt the mattress. Of course it was freaking memory foam.

"In here." Dave replied, throwing clothing into dresser drawers indiscriminately. "I'm not supposed to let you out of my sight."

"But there's only one bed!" John protested.

Dave stopped, looking up at him. "And there's three eighths of a virgin Burger King employee in the freezer."

"What does that have to do with anything!?"

Dave smirked. "You're in a different world, John. Sure, you know what to expect, but you've only seen half of it. It's big enough for two people anyways."

John's stomach growled, and he realized that he hadn't eaten since the night before.

Dave shot him a knowing look, but John shook his head. "No. No way."

"You need to eat."

"I'm not killing anyone!" John growled, baring his teeth and feeling titanium-like nails digging into the palms of his clenched fists.

Dave laughed. "Could have fooled me."

John started back, closing his mouth shamefully and forcing himself to relax his muscles. "Can't I like... eat animals?" He recalled that the creepy sparkly family did something like that when Jade went through her Twilight phase and forced the entire family to watch the movies on three consecutive movie nights.

Dave raised an eyebrow. "Our lovely hostess keeps a steady supply of frozen pizzas, but if you want to run around in the woods until you find something, by all means, go for it."

John let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding in. "You're an ass."

* * *

\-- gardenGnostic  [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:46 --

GG: john please just answer me!

\-- gardenGnostic  [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 13:55 --

* * *

John and Dave ended up making three pizzas, plus the two that Dirk stole while they weren't paying attention. It ended up with the three of them sprawled out on the couch watching shitty movies until it got late, when the oldest Strider, whom John hadn't seen since they arrived, declared it bed time. That was around 3 am.

John didn't have the energy to bother with pajamas, opting to just groggily remove his jeans and shoes before collapsing on the bed. He felt someone, probably Dave, push him over to one side of the bed, but John fell asleep as soon as his head was settled on the pillow.

He awoke an hour later, seeing Dave out like a light. Steeling his nerves, John quietly got out of bed and redressed in his clothes and checked his backpack. He bit back a curse when he saw the knives were gone, but that couldn't be helped now. Besides, he had seen some in the kitchen. John slipped on his jacket, making sure Dave was still asleep before he silently opened the bedroom door and closed it behind him.

He got a few steps down the hallway before he felt hot breath against his neck.

"Going somewhere?" Asked the deep, gravelly voice of Bro.

Swallowing a lump in his throat, John turned around. "I was just looking for the bathroom."

Bro raised an eyebrow, an expression the Striders seemed rather fond of. "If you managed to escape, where would you go? Wander around the woods for hours, starve to death? Even if you did find humans, you don't know how to control yourself. Give it a few days, and you'll gladly rip into someone out here and choke down their guts while their elk hunting buddies fill you with bullet holes. And _if_ you survive, make it to some town somewhere, you'll have a huge target on your back for demon hunters. You of all people should know that a fledgling wouldn't last long on their own. You're smarter than that John."

John fought to maintain his resolute expression. "I can control myself."

"Oh? And why is that, pray tell."

"I have my humanity."

Bro snickered. "So did we. So does every demon. Humanity won't get you far. Face it John, staying here is your only option where you might live. Now get back to bed before I finish you off myself."

John hesitated, but slowly returned back to Dave's room, feeling Bro's eyes on him the whole while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say how fun demon!Bro is to write? He was already a badass, but now he's a murderous badass, king of badassery. I realize that Dirk is kind of underdeveloped at this point, but don't worry! He'll need more screen time for that DirkJake tag, now won't he? *eyebrow wiggle* And Jade, my dear sweet Jade. Such crumminess, what with her brother disappearing without a trace and all. I wonder what will happen... *malicious laughter*


	4. A Better, if not Slightly Mortifying, Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for adult themes. Rating has also been changed to Mature for sexual content and language.

Sunlight filtered in persistently between the curtains, urging wakefulness. But John, in a drifting state between reality and sleep, had absolutely no intention in any way, shape, or form of waking up any time soon. Why would he? After all, it wasn't every day that one woke up with actress and former model, Liv Tyler, _Liv Freaking Tyler_ , in their bed.

Even through his shirt, John could feel the stretch of her bare back against his chest, every single ridge of her spine pressed to him. Sleepily, he burrowed his nose into the junction of her neck and shoulder. Her hair tickled his face. Liv smelled nice. Like apple cider, and fresh rain.

She shifted backwards, pushing her butt against _oh god John had an erection he popped a boner on Liv Tyler abort mission hit the deck the end is nigh WAIT!_

Was that... laughter?

Not a mocking laughter, just amused. It was deep, probably husky with arousal. Cautiously, John kissed her neck, barely more than a peck. She hummed in her throat, a positive response. He kissed up to her jawline, his eyes still closed. John started to suck on the soft skin there. His arms moved upwards from around her waist.

Taking an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the metaphorical deep end, John's hands splayed out on either side of her chest. Hm. That was weird. He had always imagine the voluptuous curve of her glorious bosom to be a little different.

"Jegus Christ, Egbert. I am a classy lady. At least buy me a drink before you start sprinting to second base."

John's eyes shot open, and he threw himself away from the body he had been wrapped around.

"Dave!?"

"The one and only." Strider sat up, turning to look at John. "If you're finished with your petting party, I'm going to go take a shower." The demon lifted his shades (which he had, for some god forsaken reason, slept in) and gave John a sultry look. "Unless, of course, you'd like to join me?"

John could do nothing but shake his head quickly. The demon shrugged and left the room.

John made sure he was fully clothed and bonerless when Dave returned, the latter courtesy of the time he walked in on Poppop in the bath. *Shudder*.

Dave came in with a towel wrapped around his chest, which he claimed was to protect his virtue from John's lecherously prying eyes. He slid on a pair of clean boxers under the towel, then immediately dropped it and started getting dressed.

"So, um, listen, Dave." John started out awkwardly when Dave had both pants and a shirt on. "The thing is, um,"

"Spit it out." Dave said offhandedly while he searched for socks.

"I'm not, well, a homosexual."

Dave stopped, looking at John. "Okay."

"Okay." John was content with that answer for a moment. "Wait, what do you mean 'okay'?"

Dave shrugged. "Do you need some clothes?"

John looked down at himself. With no other options, he had put on what he had worn the day before. "Yeah. Thanks."

Dave got out a fresh pair of jeans and a shirt, as well as a balled up pair of socks.

The silence lasted a little longer before John broke it again. "So do you want to talk about what happened earlier, or..?"

"No." Dave said firmly, closing his dresser drawer.

* * *

Dave took John out into the woods in the mid-afternoon, the both of them having slept through the morning. Dirk was in what Dave called 'work mode', a selection of heavy metal and Japanese pop music blasting from his room. Bro was absent from the vicinity, along with the car, for which John was grateful. He really, _really_ , didn't want to relive the night before.

They ended up hiking uphill for several hours, though John couldn't say he could protest of weary feet. It unnerved him, a reminder of how little time he had left.

After John killed the Striders and Lalondes, he would do it himself, to spare any of his family from having to put him down like a rabid dog. That's all he was now. A wild animal who would kill unprovoked.

Maybe he could find a hunter to do it for him. He rarely had need for it, but John had a way of contacting most of the hunters he had ever met. A quick pester and they would put him out of his misery. John shuddered at that thought, and sped up noticing Dave had gotten a ways ahead of him.

"Where are we going?" He asked.

"I told you, it's a surprise."

At least they had wound around and gotten some ways downhill. Dave finally stopped when the sky began to darken, edging closer to the edge of a cliff. "We're here."

John peeked over, groaning.

"Seriously? It's basically vertically straight up from where we were." The condo was easily within sight, settled above the tall waterfall The height made John a little dizzy, and he retreated back.

"I might have taken some detours." Dave admitted, nudging a pebble over the steep drop.

"So why did we come up here?" John asked.

Dave pointed upwards. "Look."

Though the sun still lingered on the horizon, stars had begun to appear far to the east. There were so many already, almost more than the entire sky back home.

"Just wait." Dave whispered. "When summer gets here, the fireflies come out at night." The demon sat down on the grass, falling back with his arms over his head and looking up.

John joined him, and they were completely silent as the sounds of the forest changed and the sky darkened. It was a smattering of brilliant lights in their irregular patterns.

Dave pointed to one place. "Do you see right there, those three stars in a line?"

"Yeah."

"That's Orion's dick."

John snorted, but Dave continued seriously. "He was the son of Poseidon and a gorgon. Dude was sickass hunter, and said he would kill every animal on the planet. As it turns out, Great-Grandma Earth wasn't alright with that. She killed him, but because he was so well-endowed, he floated up to the stars."

"That was a beautiful story." John told him. "I am seriously wiping away tears right now." He scanned the sky for a moment before pointing out something. "That's the big dipper."

"Incredible."

They were silent for a moment. "So, um, where are we, exactly?"

There was a rustle as Dave shrugged. "Upstate New York somewhere."

"Wow. We covered that much distance in a few hours?"

"There was speeding involved." Dave explained.

"It's funny." John commented. "I've always wanted to go to New York."

"Yeah?"

"But I guess I had more of the city in mind. Have you ever been there?"

"A few times. We've never stayed there for long, though. We've been all over, actually."

"Seriously? Have you ever been to Europe?"

John could hear the smile in Dave's voice. "Dirk was born in Germany. Roxy and Mom were both born in France. We visit there sometimes."

"What about you? And Rose?"

"Texas and New York."

That was followed with more quiet, crickets chirping now intruding peaceably.

"I guess I'd like to go to Rome. See the art, ride scooters in hazardous ways, argue with Italians. You know, tourist stuff."

John nodded his understanding. "Maybe we could go there."

Dave laughed. Like, sincerely laughed. It was a pleasant noise. "Yeah, I'd like that."

* * *

John awoke to chilly water on his face. It was raining. And he was freezing. He looked around, finding Dave asleep with his shades hooked on the front of his shirt. He nudged the blond in the shoulder until he woke up, shaking the rain from his body.

"C'mon." He said.

John followed without hesitation. It wasn't far to their destination, a small crevice in the rock. John had to duck low to fit in after Dave.

It was small, reminding John of the cave in The Dead Poet's Society.

"Why didn't we just go back to the house?" He asked as Dave found a lantern stashed in the rocks and turned it on.

"You can't use the trails when they're wet. Too slippery and shit. I found this place a couple years back, and started using it to camp out when I got stuck up here. Or just for fun."

"How long is 'a couple years'?"

Dave sat cross-legged in front of the lantern, leaning back on smoothed rock. John followed lead across from him. "Probably 12."

"Seriously? How old are you, anyways?"

Dave shrugged. "59. Almost 60."

John raised his eyebrows. "Seriously?" Dave hummed an affirmative. "Were you born a demon? Or..."

"Human. Funny thing about Catholic Texans in the 50s. They weren't big on 'devil eyes' as my birth parents called them."

"Oh, wow." John exclaimed quietly, sympathy staining his voice. It was with hesitation that he asked "What happened?"

Dave smiled weakly, briefly. "Remind me later, and I'll tell you."

John seemed satisfied with that.

* * *

Dirk didn't startle when his laptop stopped its dub steptious tunes, merely finished tightening the joints between thin limbs of titanium before he looked up.

Bro sat cross-legged at Dirk's desk, scrolling through the cell phone in his hands.

Dirk wiped sweat and oil from his hands with a rag, standing. "Something wrong with the tune-up I gave it?"

Bro spoke without looking up. "They can't track it, but they have a general idea where we are. They're relentless. English is on his way."

This gave Dirk pause. He sucked in an imperceptible breath through his nose. "How'd you figure that out?"

"He told me himself. Or at least, he told Egbert."

"Why are you telling me this?" Dirk inquired.

"Because you're going to slow him down."

"The Lalondes are going to be here in a few days." The protestation was lacking any real conviction on Dirk's part.

"They'll be here when you get back. Besides, you'll get to see that little boy toy of yours."


	5. A Momentous Exchange

The Lalondes arrived the day after Dirk left.

Honestly, John had no idea where he had gone. The car wasn't taken, and they were in the middle of freaking no where. Dave's only notice of his brother's absence was to ask where he was, to which Bro replied "out." That seemed as good an explanation as anyone was getting.

The leader of the Lalondes, Mom, as everyone called her, seemed like a kind woman, as voluptuous as she was drunk.

Rose was like Dirk; analytical, wordy. She was without a doubt Dave's sister, the way the two of them exchanged quips.

Roxy was the easiest to warm up to John, the friendliest. She gave him a hug as she did all the others, as though they had known each other for years.

The most of the morning, the girls spent unpacking their things, settling back in.

But when night fell, Roxy insisted that the four of them all do something fun. This discussion went on at quite some length, all of them having comparatively different ideas of what constituted a 'fun' time.

In the end, they had a three hour session of Mario Kart followed by a movie. They were still coming down from the violently angry high of the Rainbow Road when the intro to the movie began.

The four of them on the couch was a tight fit, pushing farther into the plush padding as the movie went on. John must have dozed off at some point, because he woke up sandwiched between Dave and Roxy around four. Rose was gone, and the atrocious main menu music was playing on a constant loop that John forced himself to turn off after the eighth cycle.

The taste in his mouth was dry and all around horrible. He pulled himself to his feet, knees a bit wobbly from being trapped beneath him while he slept.

He got a glass of water from the kitchen, washing away the bitterness.

"Hey."

John startled, nearly jumping out of his own skin. He choked on the water in his mouth, nose and throat burning.

"Dammit, Dave." He got out between coughs.

"I'm a peach." Dave said.

"You scared the shit out of me."

Dave snorted. "I noticed." He shrugged. "So what do you think of Rose and Roxy?"

John smiled. "They're great. I can't believe our families have been trying to kill each other for years."

A pleasant silence fell between them.

"Dave?"

Dave hummed in reply.

"Why did you, um, what I mean is, why me?"

Dave looked straight at John, eyes and expression hidden. "Guess."

John groaned.

"No, seriously. I'm not going to tell you."

Dave stepped closer, now able to feel John's breath on his face. Cautiously, slowly, Dave pressed their lips together. "But if you can guess, I'll let you know."

* * *

It was late. According to the dashboard clock, it was 4:00 am. Probably an hour off. Jake wasn't keeping track of timezones he crossed into.

Jake was more than prepared to stop for crossing deer on the empty back highway, which was probably the only reason he noticed the stark pale figure of a person in the headlights.

The hunter slammed on the brakes, car skidding to a stop in front of the strangely calm person dressed all in black but revealing milky arms and head. The person closed the final two feet between them and the car, resting their hands on the hood.

Pushing aside the pounding of his heart, Jake managed a name for the familiar face. "St-Strider."

The demon smirked, going around the side of the car and getting into the passenger seat. "Drive."

Jake stepped on the gas.

There was a few minutes of silence while Dirk stared forward, his arms crossed.

"So, erm, I guess you're here to kill me." Jake said.

Dirk shrugged. "Not really what my orders say, but whatever you're up for."

Jake's knuckles began to hurt, and he relaxed his grip on the steering wheel. "And just what _do_ your orders say?" Oh bullocks, where was his gun?

"Now that would be telling." Dirk teased.

Jake had to keep talking. Keep talking, keep the demon distracted from his search for a weapon. But for probably the first time in his life, Jake didn't have a word to say.

"You're quiet." Dirk noted.

"Just tired, I suppose." Jake forced out. Subtly, he glanced in the rear view mirror. His gun was in its holster, sitting on top of the dufflebag he had brought.

Dirk's eyes darted imperceptibly to Jake's face, noticing his haggard appearance for the first time. "Jesus dicks, English. When was the last time you slept?"

"Last night." Jake replied. Or had it been the night before that?

"You need to sleep."

"I'm fine. I can go another twelve hours at least."

"You're going to pass out. Look, just pull over up here."

Jake sighed. "You're insufferable." Regardless, the Jeep was guided off of the pavement.

"It's one of my many charms." Dirk answered smoothly.

Jake reclined his seat and unbuckled, setting his glasses in a cup holder. He settled back, closing his eyes. "How do I know you won't kill me in my sleep?"

"You know me better than that, Jake."

Jake chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose I do." And Jake drifted off from sheer exhaustion in his car at four in the morning with a demon at his side. "Wake me up in three hours."

He dreamt of familiar things. Of stolen kisses when no one was around to see. Of teasing smiles whenever he became flustered by the thrills of sexual intimacy. Of calling home and lying about being delayed on a hunt so that he might spend just one more night in lustful embrace with a dark creature in the room of a motel off of the interstate.

Somewhere in his mind, Jake knew that such things were in the past. He needed to leave them there. It was too dangerous.

He had felt Dirk's gaze on him enough times to notice the burn of it now. Idly, Jake allowed himself to submit to the pleasant sensation of fingers playing with his hair.

If he kept up the ruse of sleep for just a bit longer, if only to feel the tender touch for a fleeting moment more.

"I know you're awake."

Jake groaned and opened his eyes. Dirk was looking at him, arms crossed casually behind his head.

"Time?" Jake asked, his mouth thick with sleep.

"Seven thirty."

Jake sighed and repositioned himself more comfortably on his seat. "What is that? Three hours?"

"Eh. More like 15." Dirk replied nonchalantly.

Grumbling to himself, Jake started the car and they were off again.

"I'm guessing you're here to slow me down." Jake said after a bit.

Dirk at least had the decency to pretend to be offended. "Where would you get that idea? Maybe I just wanted to make a courtesy call to my favorite human. You wound me, Jake."

Jake sighed. "I can tell you're getting your jollies out of this, but I really need to focus on finding John."

"I don't see why you're so worried." Dirk said. "The kid can take care of himself."

"That's beside the point. He's still alone and in danger."

"He was fine when I saw him."

"So you do have him!" Jake exclaimed.

Dirk shrugged. "Is that news?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ship. Ship ship ship. I wrote the next two chapters after this in a huge boredom session. Tune in in three days for the next chapter.


	6. And Then Things Got Gayer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTICE: Rating has been changed to explicit because of *maniacal laughter*
> 
> I was planning on posting this chapter at a later date, but I woke up this morning to find that the United States had legalized gay marriage. So here is something hella gay.

John had come here with one purpose. He was going to wipe out the two most dangerous demon families in the United States, on every hunter's hit list.

But they weren't supposed to be like this. They weren't supposed to be people.

Roxy wasn't supposed to love science and cats, or have a smile that lit up a room.

Mom wasn't supposed to be, well, a mother. She should have been a monster.

Rose wasn't supposed to practice the violin and knit in her spare time, nor was she supposed to be someone to talk to.

Dave was supposed to be a ruthless killer, not someone with a passion for music and he definitely shouldn't want to travel the world starting with Rome.

They were all too... human.

Dave most certainly wasn't supposed to kiss him. The throat John was supposed to slit at his first chance shouldn't be something he found himself wrapping an arm around, bringing the demon closer to him.

But then again, John wasn't supposed to be a demon.

The first kiss was frightened, a toe in the water. The second was firmer, pleasant. They now held each other closer, blond locks parting so easily for John's fingers.

"John," Dave whispered against his lips.

John panicked in that moment, shoving Dave away by the chest. "I- I'm sorry, I,"

"It's okay, it's fine." Dave soothed. "I, I get it." There was the taint of pain in his voice.

"No, wait," John said, surprised when Dave stopped. He took a deep breath to steady himself. "I think I might, well, like you." He braced himself.

Dave looked at him. "Like? Or like like?"

John punched him in the arm. "I like like you, dumbass. But," his tone softened. "This is new for me. I've never liked a guy before."

Dave removed his glasses slowly and hooked them in his shirt, his pupils dilating in the light of the kitchen. He took one of John's hands between both of his own, lowering himself onto one knee.

"John, will you be hella gay with me?"

John couldn't hold back a laugh, nodding jerkily as it spilled over his lips. "So gay." He said. "All of the gay, all of it."

"No homo, though." Dave said, his face entirely serious.

* * *

Dirk and Jake checked into a motel room when they hit the first town after crossing into New York.

"Just like old times." Jake muttered as they entered the room, the door closing behind them.

Suddenly, he felt Dirk's hot breath on his neck. "Not quite." The demon purred. His arms wrapped around Jake's waist, pulling them together.

Heet traveled down Jake's spine, flush rising in his cheeks. He longed to melt into the demon's embrace, to have bruises sucked into his skin, to see eyes, those glorious eyes the same hue as a sunset, through his own lidded gaze as he was brought to completion.

Sloppy, persistent lips traveled up his neck, sending a pleasureful tremor through his body.

Jake's head fell back onto Dirk's shoulder as the devil continued his dance. "Dirk," Jake croaked out, ashamed by the wanton sound of his own voice. "We can't."

Dirk stilled. "Why not?" He breathed.

"Your brothers," Jake offered weakly. "And Janey, and..."

"They're not here now, are they?"

Jake shook his head, and Dirk was touching him again. His jacket slid off his shoulders to the floor. The pale, callused fingers edged under the hem of Jake's shirt, kneading the flesh there. Dirk's hands traveled up his sides, peeling his shirt over his head.

Jake turned around. Slowly, as though Dirk was a wounded animal, Jake lifted the triangular sunglasses from his face. There was uncertainty there, filling Jake with a small relief. Dirk was just as nervous as he was.

Jake kissed him, nostalgia flooding his senses. The kiss deepened, their tongues battling like two squirming cephalopods locked in a mating ritual. Dirk's hands wandered Jake's chest, slowly.

"Please." Jake muttered against Dirk's lips.

"Please what?" Dirk asked, gliding the tips of his fingernails between Jake's ribs.

"Stop teasing me, Strider." Jake honestly didn't know how the demon had the patience for it. It had been too long, _far_ too long, since Jake had had any company but for memories and his own right hand, brief stint with Aranea Serket some odd years ago notwithstanding.

Dirk pulled back from the kiss, smirking again. His irises were aflame. He gripped Jake by the belt, walking him back to the bed. The back of his knees hit the bed, and Jake fell down flat with a soft "oof!"

Dirk made quick work of the hunter's belt, sliding off cargo shorts, shoes, and socks as he went. Jake put his own hand down his underwear, pushing them off his thought (why, oh why, he wondered, did he wear the yellow briefs he had sworn to burn when he received them as a gag gift for his birthday?) and casting them aside.

Jake grabbed his rigid cock, stroking it slowly. He held his tongue between his teeth, challenging Dirk. The demon returned with drawing his black wife beater over his head, making a show of stretching the muscles of his arms and torso. Jake moaned, and Dirk relished it.

Jake pumped his hand around his dick as he watched Dirk strip. When Strider was completely bare, he knelt between Jake's legs at the end of the bed. He pushed Jake's fist away, his breath ghosting over the head of Jake's manhood.

"Do you want me to?" He whispered intimately. "Do you want me to suck you off?"

Jake writhed, letting out a whine. He nodded fiercely.

"Say it." Dirk growled.

Jake swallowed back the thickness in his throat. "I want you to suck me off." A groan was ripped from him when Dirk licked a stripe from base to tip. " _Please!_ " Jake cried for good measure.

Dirk had soft lips. That had always been Jake's experience. Thin, pale, but always soft. Even chapped or split and bleeding after a solid round of fisticuffs, Dirk's lips were always gentle and smooth.

Those very same lips protected Jake from deviant teeth, as well as created a tight seal around the sensitive head of Jake's cock.

Dirk always began gradually. It didn't take long for him to increase his pace, especially with Jake's wordless urgings and fingers in his hair.

The demon waited until he had nearly all of it in his mouth before he hallowed his cheeks, running his tongue in swirling patterns across the underside.

" _Fuuuck!_ " Jake moaned when Dirk swallowed around him the first time, throat convulsing.

"I-I'm close." Jake stuttered when the heat welling at the pit of his stomach began to stir violently.

He wasn't sure if Dirk heard or not until his pace slowed and he pulled off with an obscene _pop_.

That hand that had been braced against Jake's hip replaced the wet heat, pumping feverishly to get Jake off. The hunter buried his fist in his mouth to hold back the screams and profanities that threatened to spill.

Dirk was staring at Jake's face, eyes lidded and hungry. All the while, he was spewing words of encouragement.

Jake came with a yell, hot ropes of cum shooting into Dirk's face and showering him. Jake panted heavily, watching as Dirk took himself in hand. He moved quickly, desperate for release.

The demon threw his head back and groaned, covering his hand and stomach in the sticky fluid.

Dirk rose from the floor, knees trembling slightly with the effort. He hauled himself onto the bed, Jake welcoming him into his arms.

They kissed again, though this time was slow, deliberate. Limbs twined together and evidence of their deed covering them, they fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you think.


	7. That Time Everything Went Horribly, Horribly Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's family is closing in on him, and Bro is a dick.  
> In other words: the end is nigh.

Jake had missed this. Sleeping beside Dirk, surrounded by the scent of him. He looked towards the window of the room, an inch of space between the curtains letting in the light of the rising sun.

"You should see the sunrise from our place." Dirk whispered. "The shadows cast by the trees are amazing, and the mist from the waterfall always makes rainbows for just a little bit. You should see it."

An uncomfortable silence fell upon them. Now brought to light was the inevitability of their situation. Jake had to get John back. And Dirk's family wouldn't let that happen.

"I'm going to shower," Dirk muttered, rising from the bed, completely nude. He gathered his clothes as he went.

Dirk showered quietly, getting dressed before leaving the bathroom.

There was a knock at the bathroom door. Dirk rolled his eyes, using his towel to quickly dry his hair.

On the other side of the door was a familiar, though wholly unwelcome face.

Dirk struggled for a second to regain his composure, cursing leaving his shades on the bedside table.

"Bro." He greeted, his mouth suddenly dry.

The Strider patriarch gave him a once-over, his jaw tight. He stepped aside, gesturing to Jake, unconscious and still completely naked on the floor. "Get him dressed and tied up. I want him in the trunk in 10 minutes."

* * *

Dave's touches were gentle, cautious, almost as though he were afraid of breaking John. They kissed, their feet tangled idly, intimately, together beneath the sheets on Dave's bed.

A knock at the door made the two of them jerk apart, Dave scrambling to put his shades back on before he called out an even "yeah?"

Rose opened the door, stepping in and closing it behind her. Her eyes were wide, nervous, something John had yet to see on the composed blonde's face. "Bro's back with Dirk." She said in conspiratorial whisper.

"And?" Dave prompted in the same volume.

"They have a human. I think it's a hunter."

Dave and John shared a look. "What did they look like?" The brunet asked her.

"I didn't see. They had the head covered."

Without hesitation, John was on his feet, sprinting past Rose. He got halfway down the hallway before he heard a hoarse scream.

* * *

Dirk kept his hands trapped beneath his thighs, certain that he would do something he would regret if they were free.

Jake knelt in the middle of the basement, his hands and feet bound together behind the round concrete column supporting the first floor above their heads.

The bruises, he had been able to deal with. Jake could take a punch, and Bro's fists and feet swinging at him had little effect. The cuts, he had been able to deal with. Jake had a high pain tolerance for such things that limited it to hisses and whimpers, and Bro wouldn't go deep enough to kill him.

But the burning, that had challenged Dirk's resolve.

Jake was still crying out in pain when Bro pulled the white hot iron poker from his skin and thrust it back into the pot-bellied stove, the awful stench of burning flesh hanging heavy in the room.

Dirk winced away, just for a second, with his teeth clenched. He heard the hit before he felt it, his face snapping to the side with the slap. If that had been it, he would have been fine. But then Jake screamed again with just as much agony as the first time.

"Watch him." Bro growled. "Watch your boyfriend, or I'll kill him."

Dirk forced himself to look at Jake again, pained and frightened emerald gaze finding his and he felt guilt wash over him again.

This was his fault.

"Pretty stupid of you to just try and find us alone, English." Bro commented as he reheated the end of the poker. "I mean, look where that got John. But I guess, he did have a different set of circumstances, didn't he?"

There was a tremor in Jake's voice, slight as it was. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Bro chuckled. "Oh, you don't know. See, even if you'd been able to get him back, take him home all safe and sound, it wouldn't matter. He's one of us now."

The meaning of his words sank in, the sheen of sweat covering Jake's body now chilling him. "You turned him."

Bro hummed confirmation, beginning to circle Jake slowly. "Well, I didn't. It was Dave. What amazes me, though, is that _you_ didn't catch it. Kid did alright, for his first time. Nice and clean, even covered it up with the glass." He stopped beside Jake, grabbing a fistful of dark hair and jerking the hunter's head up. Bro leaned in close, whispering. "You know what, I might even turn you, let you leave with John. You'll go home, tell your sisters how successful your little rescue mission was, and then you'll rip their lungs out with your bare hands, just for the hell of it."

He released Jake's hair, standing straight again.

Without a word, Bro walked up the stairs and out of the basement, closing the door firmly behind him.

Dirk was at Jake's side in an instant, working at untying the bonds. There was a rough noise, and he realized it was laughter.

"Jake," Dirk started quizzically.

"He thinks," his throat caught, and he licked his lips and swallowed. "He thinks I came alone."

* * *

Jane slowed the car on the road through the trees, barely more than the dirt trails left by other pioneers who had the brilliant idea to weave their way through the woods.

"How much further?" She asked.

Jade checked her phone, a navigation plot pulled up with several locations marked and sorted by color. "About a half mile."

The young woman nodded. "Then we start walking. We can't risk getting any closer while they have both of them."

Becquerel huffed his approval, probably just content that Jade was getting out to release him from the confines of the backseat.

* * *

Dave had to hold John back, forcing him against the wall and clapping a hand over his mouth. Bro came out of the door to the lower level, looking at them both and smirking.

"I have to say, John, your cousin does make a nice sight tied up in my basement."

John tried to wrestle free from Dave with renewed vigor. "You son of a bitch!"

Bro clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth, or were you too young to remember her? Dave, keep a closer watch on your pet."

Neither of them said anything until Bro was out of sight.

Dave followed Bro to the kitchen, watching from around the corner of the wall.

Mom sat at the table, looking forlornly out the window with a martini resting in her hand. "They're coming. It took twenty years, but they found this place."

Bro shrugged. "That's fine. If they get close enough, we'll kill them."

"They're John's family. I can't let you." There was genuine distress in Mom's voice, as though her words were dangerous.

They were.

Bro slapped the drink from her hand, leaning in close to her face and ignoring the shatter of glass on tile. "How about, you remember who's been saving your ass since you were created and you do what I say." The suggestion was cold. "Unless you want your pretty little daughters to join them."

Mom pursed her lips together, saying nothing.

Bro went angrily past John and Dave, returning to the basement.

* * *

John and Dave waited half an hour before doing anything. In the end, they both equipped weapons. Dave went to find Roxy and Rose and tell them about, whatever it was that was going on, and John took the basement.

Jake wasn't there, like John expected him to be. Instead, the basement-level window was open. Bro's body was sprawled out on the floor, his head only a few inches from where it should have been. The neck was sliced clean through. Dirk was sitting slumped against the wall, hands clasped tightly over his abdomen. Blood trickled around his fingers, and Bro's katana rested at his feet with blood tainting the blade four inches up. Dirk's own was at his side, stained with the smeared blood of his brother.

Dirk motioned for John to come closer when he spotted him with hazy, lidded eyes, whispering in his ear when he did. " _Run._ " He said. "Get out now. Just take everyone and run."

John must have shown it on his face, because Dirk addressed it. "John, I know they're your family, but we're demons. Please, just don't let them kill anyone."

Then Dirk's eyes slid closed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of switched Bro and Dirk's associated styles of death for reasons that will be clear soon.  
> Thanks for reading! Please leave a comment and tell me what you thought.


	8. And Then Things Got Even More Horribly Wrong Before It Was Almost Alright but You're Still Upset with Me for Doing This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The clash between Strilondes and Crocker-Egbert-English-Harleys comes at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Andrew Hussie, who taught me everything I know about mixing comedy and murder.

Dave stopped to catch his breath, laughing. John joined in, though he wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was the thrill and frightened giddiness that flooded them.

The older demon jerked his head in the direction of the house, though it was out of sight now. "Go." He said. "You're family's here."

"Dave," John's expression softened. "I can't."

Dave shrugged. "It's what you've wanted since you got here. You have to."

John shook his head resolutely. "I'm not going anywhere without you."

A flicker of a smile lit up Dave's face. He pulled his shades off, hooking them in the collar of his shirt. "I guess now's as good a time as any, then." Dave met John's eyes, passionate warmth in the pools of scarlet that never dared allow themselves be clouded with emotion. "John, I-"

He got no further. A violently loud sound sparked through the night, Dave's eyes wide as his body jerked forward with each impact.

The entire world slowed around John, Dave falling forward and his eyes glazing over.

"No!" John screamed in futility. He fell to his knees to catch Dave as he fell, white shirt ripped and bloodied across the back.

A sob threatened to rise in his throat, but he forced it away with a shake of his head.

He felt hands on his shoulders, pulling him away. "No..." He said.

"John, it's too late." Roxy said softly, though still urgently. "He's gone."

"No." John spoke more clearly now, despite thick emotion attempting to muffle it.

There was indistinct calling toward the house, the familiar notes of Becquerel's bark accompanying it.

"John, we need to leave. _Now._ " Roxy said, pulling his arm.

"No!" He yelled, pulling free from her grasp. He regretted it when he saw the hurt on her face. "Please, Roxy. Find Rose and get away. Just let me stay with him."

Roxy opened her mouth as though to speak, but closed it and nodded solemnly. She hugged John briefly, and then she was sprinting toward the trees.

"It's just us now." He whispered, brushing fine blond hair off of Dave's sweaty forehead. "You're going to be fine."

The voices were near, calling out to each other in the dark as they closed in. Bec howled, and soon the giant white dog was sprinting at John.

"Bec!" Jade's voice barked. He stopped, teeth bared at John and the fallen form of Dave. "Don't move, or you'll end up just like your friend." She ordered John, his face concealed by the night and the hood pulled over his head.

John looked up at his sister, at her dog and the rifle in her hands. "Get back, Jade." He warned.

"John!?" Jade exclaimed with disbelief and excitement. "You're alive!" She let her weapon fall to the ground, stepping toward him despite Bec's whines to persuade her otherwise. "Did I kill it?" She asked, glancing nervously at Dave.

John felt an alien rage inside of him. "I said, GET BACK!" He roared. Bec yelped and fell on his side, running away at first chance. Jade wasn't as wise, falling on her rear and freezing. Even the trees shook as though disturbed by a heavy breath playing the breeze.

John glared at her, teeth bared. There was a tremble to her hands, fear in her eyes. "John," she uttered with shock.

"Get out of here, Jade." He commanded.

"Please!" She begged. "Come home. This can all be over."

"Over? It'll never be over. Right now, I don't know what I'll do to you if you don't leave. And honestly?" John laughed once, coldly, before his voice hardened to cut like a knife. "I don't _care_."

Jade pushed the heels of her hands into her eyes, shoving away tears. "We'll find you." She vowed.

John scoffed. "Don't even try." He glanced down at Dave's head in his lap, the flush dulling and leaving only pale. He stroked a still warm cheek, cupping it in his hand. He passed the other over Dave's face, closing his eyes. "I loved him. Still do. We were going to run away together. He always wanted to see Rome." John looked up sharply at his sister, making her flinch. "But then you killed him."

"I'm sorry." She whispered shakily.

"'Sorry's aren't going to bring him back." John stood, walking over to Jade. He towered over her, close enough to hear the adrenaline that sped her heart. He put his foot over her arm, unimpressed that she didn't resist. "It's a very human concept, apologizing. Weak. Impermanent." To stress his point, he stepped down, reveling in her screams and the snap of bones.

A loud bang split the air. A great bloody hole manifested itself on John's forehead. He seemed to hiccup for a moment before he fell back, not quite touching Dave. He was dead before he hit the ground.

Jade turned around, seeing Jane holding her own discarded rifle. She got up as quickly as she was able, throwing herself into the arms of her cousin. They stood there sobbing for a long time, not saying anything. Jake found them at some point. He took the both of them into an embrace.

No one spoke for a while. They spent hours in silent mourning for their brother and cousin. Long after Jade had run out of tears and Jane's shirt was saturated with them, Jake patted their shoulders.

"Look." He breathed. The three of them gazed into the distance, watching the sun rise. Dirk had been right. It was lovely.

* * *

**Six months later**

Jake spread the plates around the table, setting each place carefully.

The doorbell rang, and he put down what was in his hands.

"Door!" Jane called from the kitchen, warm smells drifting from it.

"I heard." Jake replied. Jade and Bec cascaded down the stairs, standing aside as Jake undid the deadbolt.

A chorus of greetings went up as the door was opened to a trope of blondes.

Roxy was first, giving Jake and Jade each a hug before she rushed off looking for Jane.

Ms. Lalonde settled for a kiss on the hand, accepting the offer of a drink in a bit.

And then Rose. She gave her demure handshake and hello to Jake before she and Jade both raced upstairs.

"Walking, girls." Jake found himself scolding lightly.

He heard the click of the door closing before the arms were around his waist and the chin on his shoulder, burrowing into his neck.

"Miss me?" Dirk asked, kissing him on the cheek.

"Not a bit." Jake lied. He turned around, grabbing Dirk's wrists and pressing him against the door for a real kiss.

"PDA." Jane reminded from the doorway of the kitchen.

Jake almost laughed aloud when Roxy snuck a peck on the corner of Jane's mouth, making his sister blush scarlet.

"Happy Thanksgiving." Dirk whispered.

"Happy Thanksgiving."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Addressing things: yes, this was my plan all along. I've had this chapter written for almost two months.  
> What? Dirk, dead? Wherever would you get that idea? But in all seriousness, he survived with a totally sick ass scar.  
> Thank you to everyone who read this and endured my lateness on posting. A special thanks to everyone who left a comment.


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